Out-Of-Context Quotes From Today’s White House Press Briefing

by thoughtsonthedead


  • How many people showed up depends on who you classify as ‘people,’ and the President has informed me not to count Mexicans or the gay-looking.”
  • “Two million supporters were in the crowd, but 1.8 million of them were wearing camouflage.”
  • “The Constitution does not explicitly prohibit the Executive Office from having journalists and their families beaten. Just so you know.”
  • “Severeal Supreme Court Justices said that President Trump took the oath better than Obama did.”
  • “Yeah, well, where’s Hillary’s inauguration crowd, huh? Huh? We WON and you LOST, FUCKERS, so suck our HUGE REAL AMERICAN BALLS.”
  • “Satellite photos have a known liberal bias.”
  • “About 8 inches and thick.”
  • “Since the President entered the White House, birds and small animals have been assembling outside to pay tribute to him; why hasn’t the press reported on that? Why have you not interviewed the thousands and thousands of chipmunks who want to united the country?”
  • “Perhaps the turnout was due to the fact that Republicans have jobs, as opposed to the women who flew cross-country and booked hotel rooms, and are clearly unemployed and broke.”
  • “Who told you that? A woman? Figures.”
  • “Historians are calling President Trump’s speech the greatest since Lincoln. And before Lincoln. And Lincoln. Many historians have declared Donald Trump to be superior in all ways to Lincoln. Abraham Lincoln.”
  • “I’m not taking questions from CNN. CNN are proven liars. Yes, the gentleman in the brown shirt from Breitbart?”
  • “The report with the official estimate from the women’s march has come in from the parks department: 47. Can you believe that? Only 37 women showed up today. Wow. Just 27 women. No, you can’t see the report.”
  • “Yeah, but how many of the women who marched were hot?”