Maybe It’s ‘Cause It’s Midnight

by thoughtsonthedead

Quick reminder: The Dead Or What’s Left Of ‘Em will be on Jimmy Fallon’s show tonight. Show starts at 11:35 on the East Coast, and the band usually goes on after midnight. They’ll play in the band slot. You know how talk shows work; why am I explaining it to you?

What will they play? New song? (No.) Box of Rain? (No.) Cover of the new Beyoncé song? (No, but not for lack of lobbying on Mickey’s part; Mickey likes songs about Red Lobster.)

TotD will now predict the future. Please welcome The Great Garnak!

Like Garcia?

And Karnak, yeah. Not that complicated a premise. Keep up.

Die.

Later. First, I gotta put on my turban.

Okay. I now communicate with the spirits of the dead, and the spirits of the Dead. OOOOOOoooh, that’s good communicatin’.

Just get to it.

The envelope!

Can I have the envelope, please?

Oh, holy shit: I’m Ed McMahon? I don’t wanna be Ed McMahon.

Someone’s gotta be. Gimme the damn envelope.

Fine.

I MAKE MY PREDICTION. “A Saudi Arabian road where many men have fallen.”

You gotta repeat the–

I know how it works.

–line. Why won’t you play along?

Ah, whatever. “A Saudi Arabian, blah blah.”

MMMMmmm. May your white privilege turn into yellow snow.

Okay, whatever.

I will now blow into the envelope.

FWOOO

That was some good envelope-blowin’.

Aw, thanks. Okay: “A road in Saudi Arabia where men keep falling.”

And what is the question, Great Garnak?

The answer is “What is Sheik-down Street?”

I hate you so much.

What?

That was a stretch.

Funnier than anything Fallon’ll say tonight.

Sure. Now: is this something you know, or a guess?

The spirits communicated with me.

A guess. Okay.

How would I know anything? No one calls me.

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