And Fuck This Guy, Too

by thoughtsonthedead

“I know people will disagree with me, but it just seems like God made men and women, and that night guns made them equal,” he said. “And I hate it that it’s that way. I think the only way that my mind has been changed is that maybe that until nobody has guns everybody has to have them.

I don’t disagree with you, Jesse Hughes of the Eagles of Death Metal. I couldn’t agree more with your well-thought out and cogent position.

It’s like when it snows, and you can’t get out of your garage because your driveway is covered. What do you do? Obviously, find more snow! What’s the only thing that will cure a heroin OD? Right! More heroin.

One time, I saw a lady drowning. Others would disagree, but I jammed another gallon of seawater down her throat. Lady wasn’t drowning anymore, Jesse! What stops religious wars? BELIEVING MORE!

Sometimes, bad things happen to good people. Just as often, bad things happen to assholes.