Daddy May Drive A V8, Vet

by thoughtsonthedead

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OMIGOD, YOU’RE WEARING A HAT.

“Yes. Okay. Hello. Calm down. Hello.”

Where did you get that hat?

“The guy.”

Sure.

“Dogs do not have hats. Skulls wrong shape.”

Yeah.

“Also did not invent loom.”

Good point. How you liking the hat?

“Smells like guy.”

Is that a good thing?

“The best thing. No. Guy is best thing. Smell of guy is next. Then food.”

Food is not third for a lab.

“Yes. I lie. Food second. If the guy has food, I do not attack the guy for food. If food attacked the guy, I would attack the food. The guy is best thing.

That makes sense.

“Plus, the guy brings me food. That big part of being the guy.”

You do love food, though?

“More like love eating. Dog definition of ‘food’ different than people.”

Right. Good to see you’re a car-friendly dog.

“A what?”

Car-friendly. Car.

“The inside that goes through the outside?”

Sure.

“Love that thing. Get in, these smells. Get out, those smells. Very exciting.”

So, dogs are kinda sightsmellers?

“That makes no sense.”

A little. How much of the car do you understand?

“Many levels of abstraction beyond me. Plus, built for being with an entirely different system of phenomenology.”

What?

“I wear hat.”

Good boy.

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