Stately, But Not Plump

by thoughtsonthedead

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Well, holy shit, you are a picturesque dog.

“Hello. Yes, okay. The thing you said. Hello.”

Where are you? It looks like The Sound of Music.

“Outside.”

Right. Can you be more specific?

“No.”

Okay. Listen, I’ve always wondered: do dogs understand music?

“I understand it isn’t threat.”

Good.

“Beyond that, not really. Wait: does vacuum cleaner make music?”

No.

“Okay, good. Because that is threat.”

It’s honestly not.

“Better to be safe. I will bark at vacuum.”

Probably a good idea. But, hey: if the vacuum is such a menace, why don’t you attack it first? You know, when it’s asleep?

“Dogs not tactical thinkers.”

Oh, yeah.

“Great military strategists generally not dogs.”

No, you’re right. Rommel was a person.

“People are the best. Rommel must have been great.”

Well, comparatively.

“That is Mt. Tamalpais in background.”

What?

“Nothing. I am dog.”

Good dog.

“Oh, yes.”

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