Break The Internet, Please

by thoughtsonthedead

Here’s your Hot Takes. Put ’em on Twitter, say ’em at the office, yell ’em at a baby.

  • Peyton Manning is (a hero/a sellout/a real American/a human-shaped pile of gristle and pain/Papa John’s best Friday gal).
  • Cam Newton is a (crybaby/thug/victim of White Supremacy/terrible cookie).
  • The halftime show was (YAAAAAAAAS, Queen/not MY America/not as good as Prince).
  • Coldplay is (shitty/innocuous/great/a victim of Political Correctness/the fat-free U2/the muzak Muse).
  • Beyoncé is (the queen/a preening nincompoop/probably the new Rosa Parks/proof that “writing your own songs” or “playing an instrument” is rockist bullshit/dead behind the eyes).
  • The entire game was (racist/reverse-racist/inside-out-racist/boring).
  • CBS is (for old people/…/um/nope/that’s it: CBS is for old people).