I Swear To You That This Was My Actual Train Of Thought

by thoughtsonthedead

bobby david diehl

  • Oh, God, he’s doing Bobby Photo Pose #2.
  • (Number one is the Bobby Glower, and number three is the Bobby Point. Also, it’s really sad that not only am I not making these things up, but all of you know precisely what I’m talking about. This is kind of a weird hobby.)
  • Um.
  • What the…?
  • Is Bobby wearing rings?
  • Is Bobby a jewelry guy now?
  • I can no longer support Bobby if he is going to become a jewelry guy.
  • Fuck, man: is he gonna pierce his ears?
  • Or, worse, his ear?
  • I blame John Mayer for this: he is introducing pernicious thoughts into Bobby’s head and we all know where that leads.
  • Christ, I can’t deal with Bobby having a midlife crisis, especially since it should have happened 15 years ago.
  • Who’s he with now?
  • Is this the CEO of a yacht-renting company or something?
  • Fucker’s got a perfectly diamond-shaped face, how about that?
  • Wait.
  • Now, I understand.
  • That’s David Diehl, an Offensive Lineman for the New York Football Giants (ret.), who played on both recent championship teams, and now does commentary for Fox.
  • Those are Super Bowl rings, and Bobby is not actually doing Bobby Pose #2; he is showing off the borrowed hardware.
  • I am very glad that Bobby does not now wear massive rings, and that he has made many friends this weekend.
  • Compton.