Maybe One Day Your Bass Will Be In Lights
- If the power were to go out, Phil could lead the crowd to safety using his bass as a beacon.
- Can be programmed to flash in a strobe-effect, which hypnotizes onlookers; luckily, Phil only uses this technology for good, and has helped several people quit smoking.
- He made a couple guys cluck like chickens, but that was all in good fun.
- Really helps in picking the bass out in a crowd, like when Phil has to pick it up from the airport or they get separated at the mall.
- This might sound odd, but Phil’s bass and Mike Gordon’s new bass–which has similar frippery–have started communicating; the closest analogy would be cuttlefish, I suppose: there’s a lot of colors and patterns and they very well be as intelligent as us, but lack thumbs or combustion, and therefore live in a culture-less Infinite Present.
- Humans: one; cuttlefish and/or sentient, hand-crafted instruments: zero.
- If someone evil were to pick up the bass, the LED lights would glow red.
- They would similarly turn red were Phil to become a Sith.
- I don’t know how great a Jedi Phil would be, but he would be a lousy Sith; he would half-ass it.
- “Rise, Darth Ravage.”
- “Darth Ravage? Nah, that sucks. I’m just gonna be Darth Phil.”
- “What? No. You can’t be Darth Phil. You’re Darth Ravage. It is decided.”
- “Decided? Kiss my ass.”
- And so on.
- The LED lights glow brightly in the presence of orcs, but only in the first film; after that, Peter Jackson just forgot about it.
- Phil honors holidays both religious and secular with his be-lighted bass: red, white, and blue for the Fourth, green for Earth Day.
- Also green for 4/20.