Diseases My Head Cold Might Be

by thoughtsonthedead

  • Cancer of the head.
  • Albinizing melanosis.
  • Spinal kopita.
  • Racist Foot Syndrome.
  • Non-relapsing, non-remitting heebie-jeebies.
  • H.I.C. (That is a sexually transmitted disease you get from fucking a juice box.)
  • Farrier’s elbow.
  • Drapetomania.
  • Rocket lag. (Like jet lag, but far worse.)
  • Kidney pebbles.
  • Infelicitousness of the yellow humours.
  • Cavalrymen’s hip.
  • Piece of Starburst candy stuck deep in ear, left there. (Cherry.)
  • ‘Squatch sickness.
  • Occasional Explosive Urination Disorder.
  • Spiral meningitis.
  • Hot toddies.
  • Flamingo pox.
  • Komodo dragon pox.
  • Ox pox.
  • Fox pox.
  • Schwimmer’s ear.
  • Amnesia of the subconscious.
  • Sudden Testicular Bifurcation Syndrome.
  • Brainflop.
  • Spleen converted to Scientology.
  • Draculitis.
  • Bricklayer’s pelvis.
  • Kuru.
  • Hantavirus.
  • Zika.
  • Probably Zika.
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