Look Up Here

by thoughtsonthedead

img_3280Haven’t had a good group shot in a while. We’ll go left to right for as long as we can, but there’s so much bullshit here. So much bullshit.

  • Seriously: so much bullshit.
  • Billy looks…
  • Jesus, I can’t deal with this; there’s so much wrong.
  • Okay, let’s do this: Billy looks like a friendly Italian baker who likes to fuck the cannoli before he sells it.
  • “I-a bake-a wit’ love-a!”
  • Billy’s eyebrows also look like his mustache’s children.
  • Phil had to leave the photo shoot early to meet his Newsie LARPing group at the park.
  • The Grateful Dead were not a hat band, and Phil is not a hat person, and that is an ugly hat.
  • It’s as if you went to see a badly written play starring terrible actors at a condemned theater: there is a failure at every level.
  • I hope the other guys gave him shit.
  • We’ll circle back to the two band members who are not looking at the camera.
  • As always, Bearded Mickey is terrifying.
  • There have been many frightful versions of Mickey: Russian Hat Mickey, Shirtless Mickey, Pantless Mickey, but Bearded Mickey is the scariest.
  • Now we take you to the Musician Magazine offices, where they are selecting which photo of the Grateful Dead will be used as the cover photo:
  • “I have a bunch of shots of–“
  • “Which one does Garcia look coolest in?”
  • “Um, this one, but the rest of the band–“
  • “Print it!”
  • “–looks like goobers. Two of them aren’t even facing the camera. You walked out of the office.”
  • And so on.
  • Garcia looks like a hippie lion.
  • He is fierce.
  • Garcia has brought all of his sexy to this photo shoot.
  • I mean, he very well may be passed out behind the sunglasses, but still: lion.
  • Sleepy, sleepy lion.
  • I know I promised to get back to Bobby and Brent, but they’re going to have to take care of themselves.