Look Up Here
- Seriously: so much bullshit.
- Billy looks…
- Jesus, I can’t deal with this; there’s so much wrong.
- Okay, let’s do this: Billy looks like a friendly Italian baker who likes to fuck the cannoli before he sells it.
- “I-a bake-a wit’ love-a!”
- Billy’s eyebrows also look like his mustache’s children.
- Phil had to leave the photo shoot early to meet his Newsie LARPing group at the park.
- The Grateful Dead were not a hat band, and Phil is not a hat person, and that is an ugly hat.
- It’s as if you went to see a badly written play starring terrible actors at a condemned theater: there is a failure at every level.
- I hope the other guys gave him shit.
- We’ll circle back to the two band members who are not looking at the camera.
- As always, Bearded Mickey is terrifying.
- There have been many frightful versions of Mickey: Russian Hat Mickey, Shirtless Mickey, Pantless Mickey, but Bearded Mickey is the scariest.
- Now we take you to the Musician Magazine offices, where they are selecting which photo of the Grateful Dead will be used as the cover photo:
- “I have a bunch of shots of–“
- “Which one does Garcia look coolest in?”
- “Um, this one, but the rest of the band–“
- “Print it!”
- “–looks like goobers. Two of them aren’t even facing the camera. You walked out of the office.”
- And so on.
- Garcia looks like a hippie lion.
- He is fierce.
- Garcia has brought all of his sexy to this photo shoot.
- I mean, he very well may be passed out behind the sunglasses, but still: lion.
- Sleepy, sleepy lion.
- I know I promised to get back to Bobby and Brent, but they’re going to have to take care of themselves.