As we get further into campaign season, TotD would like to take this time to remind you that stupid has no party; there is dumb bullshit from the basic-incomiest left, and the armed-standoffiest right. There is also ignorance in people for whom the normal political measuring tools do not apply, such as Bryce Wilkenberry of the Look At My Nipples Party, which is currently polling well ahead of Carly Fiorina in Iowa.
Last night, Bill Maher had a lunatic foreigner claiming to be a doctor on his program. This doctor told Bill Maher that he had cured Charlie Sheen of AIDS with, among other things, goat milk. (Whether whole or 2% was not specified by the doctor, nor was the point pursued by Maher.) Then, to prove to Charlie Sheen how effective his methods were, the doctor drew some of Charlie’s blood and injected it into himself.
I have not been to medical school, but that’s not how doctoring goes. I’ve seen some sketchy health professionals in my life: once, I got pinkeye in Las Vegas and when I went to the strip mall clinic, the doctor was next door at the ice cream shop he also owned; that’s what the guy told me, at least. He washed his hands without being asked, so I was pretty sure he was legit.
But the ol’ “Oh, was that your blood? Now it’s in me!” trick? Never. Well, not yet.
And instead of saying to this crazy person, “You are a crazy person saying crazy things. Go be crazy somewhere else, and do not be sticky-fingered in the green room. I know a lot of you crazy people enjoy the odd theft. Crazy-ass crazy,” Bill Maher said, “Huh. Interesting,” and “Go on.”
This is because Bill Maher is a well-known asshole. Need proof?
Right? It’s not that he has shitty taste in music to match his shitty taste in everything, but that his fave raves aren’t “musically correct.”
All of that, of course, was just a cheap ad hominem ploy to get you on my side as TotD presents Other Things Bill Maher Believes About Science:
- Vaccine, shmaccine.
- Little smallpox never killed anybody.
- Western medicine is terrible for you, and you should try Northern medicine.
- Southwestern medicine is fine, but way too spicy for some people.
- Our bodies are full of toxins, which are bad, and it is our duty to remove them, often through the strategic use of expensive berries or things bought off the TV.
- Anti-oxidants are very important.
- Bill Maher is religiously anti-oxidant; he has even signed petitions.
- Isn’t an all-organic diet vaccine enough?
- Alcohol is deleterious in any amount; cannabis cures every disease and ailment on the planet, but THEY don’t want you to know that.
- Teachers tell you what the speed of light is, but they don’t bring up the speed of dark.
- GMOs are going to kill us all, no matter what those letters stand for.
- If the polio vaccine was so great, explain Franklin Delano Roosevelt.