Donald Trump’s Opinions On Several Animals

by thoughtsonthedead

  • Puma. (“Also known as the cougar or the mountain lion. Why so many names? What’s the puma hiding?”
  • Flamingo. (“Pink. They do the one-leg thing. Big noses, but not Jewish. I bought some once. They died. Weak.”)
  • Wildebeest. (“Can’t make the tough decisions. Not a leader. Can’t compete with a yak.”)
  •  Yak. (“Now we’re talking. Great all-around. Really makes the wildebeest look bad. Love the yak.”)
  • Chinese Crested Dog. (“Used to be that all the crested dogs were American. Not anymore. Hillary’s not going to bring our dogs back. Forget about the crests.”)
  • Howler monkey. (“All day and night with the howling. Sounds like my wife, but that’s just once a month. Now watch the media take that out of context.”)
  • Mudskipper. (“Says it’s a fish. Not in the water. Breathing air. But we’re supposed to believe it’s a fish? Okay.”)
  • Salmon. (“Tasty fish. You can do a lot with it. Good entrée fish. Pink.”)
  • Porcupine. (“Not actually made of pork. Y’know, I got great grades in school, some really great grades. I know a lot about animals. People don’t know that about me.”)
  • Sea Urchin. (“That’s the porcupine of the sea. Very pointy, but not as pointy as me. People don’t know this, but I’m very pointy.”)
  • Llama. (“What happened to mules? Donkeys? There are American beasts of burden without jobs and you wanna talk about Llamas? Let the donkey do it. American donkey, right? Sure.”)
  • Porpoise. (“Porpoises think we don’t know they’re just dolphins. I know they’re dolphins. I’m gonna call them dolphins. It’s not politically correct? Eh. I’m gonna call them dolphins.”)
  • Pigeon. (“People would think I would be against pigeons because it’s such a common bird and I would like a much fancier bird. I’m for the pigeon. we’re both from the city. Pigeons get things done in tough conditions. Pigeons.”)
  • Turtle. (“Not a good penis. Gotta tell the truth. Not speaking to character. Penis is very bad.”)