Born Cross-Legged

by thoughtsonthedead

bobby house feetHey, Bobby. Whatcha doing?

“I never let Amber Rose put her fingers anywhere near my butthole.”

I truly was not expecting that answer.

“So, it’s wrong to call me a booty-ass bitch.”

No one was calling you that.

“And similarly wrong to call me a booty ass-bitch.”

What’s the difference?

“No clue.”


“Also, I have no idea who Amber Rose is.”

I kinda assumed. One of your daughters tell you about this stuff?

“I’ve been checking out Twitter, actually.”

Oh, no. Don’t do that.

“Lotta clapping back, I’ve noticed. So many things are trending.”

No good can come of you being on Twitter.

“Mickey taught me about hashbrowns.”

Hashtags. And, Mickey doesn’t understand how they work.

“Yeah, okay. Hey: speaking of hashbrowns, did you see this potato salad I whipped up for you?”

I wasn’t going to mention it.

“I slaved all afternoon in the kitchen of my shorts making it.”

Also wasn’t going to mention the shorts.

“They were sold as ‘a scanty trouser.'”