Other Debate Moderators Rejected By Donald Trump (And His Reasons)

by thoughtsonthedead

  • Bill O’Reilly. (“Ratings are down. Sad, sad man. Many scandals.”)
  • Wolf Blitzer. (“Has-been. Beard. What’s he hiding?”)
  • Diane Sawyer. (“Classy broad, but not what she used to be in the looks department. Looks have faded.”)
  • Gwen Ifill. (“Biased.”)
  • Lester Holt. (“Also biased.”)
  • Al Roker. (“Very biased.”)
  • Dr. Sanjay Gupta. (Doctor part is good. Biased look about him, though.”)
  • David Frost. (“Not sitting with a foreigner. Also, dead.”)
  • Speedy Gonzalez. (“Not a person. A cartoon mouse. Also, biased.)
  • Random Guy off the Street. (“C’mon, not gonna happen. Terrible idea. Too random.”)
  • Specific Guy off the Street. (“Don’t make my choices for me. Pass.”)
  • Savannah Guthrie. (“She knows what she did.”)
  • Telepathic Chimp. (“Depends on how telepathic.”)
  • Anderson Cooper. (“I’d prefer a man.”)
  • Candy Crowley. (“Not that manly.”)
  • Walter Cronkite. (“Against the troops. Probably dead.”)
  • Johnny Handsome, the Handsomest Boy in Handsome County. (“Not very handsome.”)
  • Alaric, King of the Visigoths. (“Not a dealmaker. Very dead.”)
  • Mata Hari. (“Something I don’t trust about her. Dead.”)
  • Benjy Eisen. (“Deal.”)