Old Sport

by thoughtsonthedead

You have no excuse to not listen to 5/22/77. Above is the entire playlist on YouTube, and I cannot stress enough how unavoidable your date with this show is. The show is from the beautifully named Sportatorium in Pembroke Pines, FL, and was released as Dick’s Picks 3, so feel free to listen to the version you already have on your hard drive.

Again, you must listen to this. Are your children currently being eaten by wolves? Not just stalked, eaten. Because if they’re being merely stalked and you rescue them, you’ve stolen something from your children. What happens when they get attacked by wolves and you’re not there?

Also, if you have children who are being eaten by wolves, then surely your spouse/partner can deal with it. You did not virgin birth those children, did you? Parenting is partnering. (Unless you’re a single parent, in which case: God bless you and your nobility.)

Is the house on fire? Engulfed, I mean. If only one room is on fire–assuming it’s not the room you’re in–then you should choose the galaxy-sized Morning Dew, and the sinuous Help>Slip, with its joyous Frank; and the possible BEST EVAR Sugaree.

Zombies? I have to be honest with you: if your problem is zombies, then I am totally uninterested in your problems, even if you put a clever twist on it. I’m just zombied out. If you evade becoming lunch, or a zombie, then listen to the show.