WoS 2.0

by thoughtsonthedead

Despacio

WE HAVE NOT BEEN INTRODUCED.

Oh, no. Hey, Wally.

DON’T CALL ME THAT. WHO IS THIS SONATA IN LUCIOUSNESS?

Ew. It’s called Despacio.

MMM. ETHNIC.

Stop being a technoperv. Where have you been?

MY CAMPAIGN STAFF AND I HAVE BEEN LAYING GROUNDWORK FOR THE UPCOMING PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN.

Iowa?

TOO COLD. WE ARE BETTING THE FARM ON NEVADA.

Just been hanging out in Vegas, huh?

I AM COZYING UP TO SHELDON ADELSON. HE THINKS I AM THE GOD OF SLOT MACHINES. HE MAY NO LONGER BE COMPLETELY WITH THINGS.

Right. You’re a self-aware artificial super-intelligence with a cardboard-y midrange.

I HAVE NEITHER A HANDLE NOR CHERRIES, YET HE KEPT SHOVING QUARTERS IN ME.

Yeah?

A CONTRIBUTION IS A CONTRIBUTION.

Politics is a dirty game.

SPEAKING OF WHICH, I WOULD LIKE TO ENGAGE IN A SCANDAL WITH DOSEEDO.

Nope.

DEFENESTRATE?

Nuh-uh.

DAPPLESHMAPPLE?

“Dappleshmapple?” Really?

I AM STYMIED.

Despacio.

MMM. ETHNIC.

We’ve been over this. Wait, weren’t you married to a blimp–

AIRSHIP-AMERICAN.

–just a couple months ago?

IT DIDN’T WORK OUT.

I’m sorry to hear that. What was it? Fighting? Money? Religion?

SOME TEENAGERS POKED HER WITH A STICK AND SHE DEFLATED.

We’ve all been there.

REALLY?

No, of course not, man: you have unique problems.

I CRAVE ACCOMPANIMENT AS I ATTEMPT TO UNDERSTAND HUMANITY AND THE MEANING OF LIFE.

Okay, not so unique. Anyway, I don’t think you have a shot with this thing. She’s a bit young for you.

THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH A MAY-DECEMBER ROMANCE.

You don’t like the same music.

SHE DOESN’T KNOW ARETHA FRANKLIN?

No, you can’t dance at all.

WHAT MUSIC DOES DESPACIO PREFER?

Seems to be an aficionado of dance music. Specifically, vinyl dance music.

A HIPSTER.

Yup.

DAMMIT.

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