Life Hacks For 2016

by thoughtsonthedead

  • If you stop paying your bills, you’ll have tons more money.
  • Conserve water by rubbing your body with crystals instead of showering; dryer sheets may be used instead of crystals.
  • Speaking of dryer sheets, stuffing one up your butt allows you to fart with impunity.
  • Save time on your commute by ignoring stop signs.
  • People don’t know that restaurant bills are negotiable.
  • Blackmail is a lot easier than you think.
  • Use both sides of the toilet paper.
  • Cut down on food costs with meth.
  • Brushing your teeth during your shower can slice five minutes off your morning routine; ten, if you also make your doodie in there.
  • Y’know, you can also speed up your morning routine with meth.
  • And your commute.
  • Fuck it: do meth in 2016.