Life Hacks For 2016
- If you stop paying your bills, you’ll have tons more money.
- Conserve water by rubbing your body with crystals instead of showering; dryer sheets may be used instead of crystals.
- Speaking of dryer sheets, stuffing one up your butt allows you to fart with impunity.
- Save time on your commute by ignoring stop signs.
- People don’t know that restaurant bills are negotiable.
- Blackmail is a lot easier than you think.
- Use both sides of the toilet paper.
- Cut down on food costs with meth.
- Brushing your teeth during your shower can slice five minutes off your morning routine; ten, if you also make your doodie in there.
- Y’know, you can also speed up your morning routine with meth.
- And your commute.
- Fuck it: do meth in 2016.