Been There, Played That
“Enjoying a hoodie.”
Is that the one on the internet people are waiting months for?
“You catch the shows this weekend?”
The ones that started at, like, three in the morning my time?
“Okay. Hey, you hear about these Guns and the Roses?”
Yeah, right? Getting back together after all these years.
“Wonder where they got that idea.”
“Putting aside personal differences to play football stadiums, huh?”
“I hear Axl called Trey.”
That didn’t happen.
“It could have.”
“Wouldn’t work, anyway: Trey has a thing about not wearing a bucket on his head.”
How would you even know that?
“Billy chased him around for four or five days trying to jam one on him.”
“Oh, I gave up on asking that question about Billy’s behavior decades ago. Much better for your chakras.”
What about your kundalini?
“That you just water twice a week.”
“Seriously: I’m, you know, upset about this Guns thing. They’re copying us.”
The years of fighting or the getting back together?
“Both, now that you mention it. Maybe I’ll sue.”
I’m pretty sure that their tour is being produced by the same multinational entertainment monopoly that you’re currently working with.