Jerry Christmas

by thoughtsonthedead

IMG_2895“HO HO HO! Merry Christmas, young man! And what would you like from Santa this year?”

“How are you with missing limbs, man?”

“Um. Not great?”

“Yeah, sure, figured.”

“Anything else?”

“Well, you know: I guess that kinda depends. You cool, man?”


“Break out that reindeer dust, man.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“I catch your game, man. Okay, okay.”

“Is there some sort of normal present I can bring you? Something a human boy would ask for?”

“Sure, sure, sure. I could always use a guitar, I guess.”

“I can do a guitar. I’ll have the elves knock one out.”

“Yeah, you know what? ‘Having the elves knock one out’ is not gonna work out for me, guitar-wise.”

“Kid, do you even believe in Santa Claus?”

“Well–not to be rude, man–but if you can’t bring me a finger, some stash, or an acceptably complicated guitar, then why should I believe in you?

“You’re a smart kid.”

“And, I got a kazoo. Good day.”

“Merry Christmas, kid.”

“Back at ya.”