Overheard At The Show The Dead Played In The Star Wars Universe

by thoughtsonthedead

  • Who the hell booked this gig?
  • We’re getting paid in dollars, right?
  • Who’s got my EX-tra? Credits or spice for your EX-tra!
  • I heard Branford Calrissian was sitting in
  • Billy just ate an Ewok.
  • And Brent is having sex with many Ewoks.
  • It is an Ewok fuck-fest and Brent is fully committed, which is weird considering Ewok and human genitalia are violently incompatible.
  • Why, yes, Princess Leia: I do have cocaine.
  • Blue milk for a dollar, nerf tacos for two!
  • A Bith wants to jam with us?
  • What’s a Bith?
  • The ones with the heads like giant shiny testicles?
  • Tell them to go back to the bar, man.
  • What do you mean “you lost the sound system in a game of Sabacc?”
  • You dosed Wedge? I dosed Wedge! Jesus, how many people dosed Wedge? We should check on him.
  • You ladies got rock stars where you come from? Great, how about blowjobs?
  • Some sort of garbage bag full of pus with a tongue has kidnapped Mrs. Donna Jean.
  • She looks great in the bikini, but we should go get her.
  • Parish is arm-wrestling Wookiees at ten bucks a throw.
  • Whaddya mean there’s no sex droids?
  • Of course there’s fuckin’ sex droids, man.
  • BRING ME A FUCKBOT!
  • No, Mr. Stanley, you cannot wire the Star Destroyers together to create a planetary sound system.
  • Your first show, man!? That’s awesome! Welcome, brother. I been on this fictional universe tour since the first date. Potterverse shows, man? You hear the tapes? DUDE, you should have seen it: Boys are playing Dark Star and people are fuckin’ whipping Patronuses all over the place and shit. Great show, man, but I lost my sweatshirt.
  • Fatty tie-dye capes! Fatty tie-dye cloaks and capes!
  • If someone doesn’t take that lightsaber away from Garcia right now, we are all going to die.
  • No, don’t give the thing to Precarious!
  • Justin, either.
  • Well, if it’s not okay for Justin to have it, then why would it be okay for Taro to have it?
  • Please don’t give lightsabers to children or the road crew.
  • I think Bill Walton and Chewbacca are best friends now.
  • Tibanna gas, three balloons for ten dollars!
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