Dragon, No Matches

by thoughtsonthedead

I can admit when I’m wrong and I may have prejudged this Greek Theater show from ’82 recommended by Robin Russell. It is skittery and Bobby starts playing some truly weird nonsense during the transition. (Bobby is very loud in the mix and you can hear his spiky accents push the song forward.) This disappoints me slightly, as I had hoped to make fun of this S>F and, obviously, Robin. She lives someplace that I could make fun of for thousands and thousands of words, but: no. She had to pick a killer.

Animals This Scarlet>Fire Could Defeat In Unarmed Combat:

  • Any domestic cat.
  • Snake under ten feet, non-venomous.
  • If on land, any fish.
  • If in the water, some fish.
  • This Scarlet>Fire could kill a penguin with its bare hands in seconds.
  • The majority of dogs; obviously, it can’t defeat one of those SEAL Team Six dogs with the titanium teeth.
  • Most dogs wouldn’t even need to be defeated: they would just submit to the S>F immediately, and then ask for belly rubs.
  • A lady deer of any size.
  • A turtle, I suppose.
  • But what would “defeating” a turtle look like?
  • Flipping it over on its back?
  • This Scarlet>Fire is mighty, not a psychopath.
  • Or a replicant.
  • Do not flip turtles on their backs.
  • If they try to fight you, you may then defeat them, but they will not try to fight you because they are turtles.
  • This Scarlet>Fire could defeat (unarmed, I remind you) all normal-sized lizards.
  • This Scarlet>Fire could not defeat a Komodo dragon.
  • Komodo dragons will fuck your ass up.
  • The least powerful weapon you should have when dealing with a Komodo dragon is a minigun.
  • That’s the machine gun that goes BRAAAAAAAP that the Army straps to the side of helicopters and Jesse Ventura strapped to his side in Predator.
  • If the Scarlet>Fire from 5/23/82 could catch a squirrel, then it could defeat that squirrel.
  • Squirrels are tough as shit to catch.