Overheard That Time In ’81 The Aladdin Exited The Dead Show Directly Into The Casino

by thoughtsonthedead

  • Don’t touch the hippies, dear.
  • No, sir: we do not accept wagers of kind bud.
  • I’m sure it’s the diggity-dank, sir: I can smell it from here, but we still can’t accept it as a bet.
  • A free drink? Wow, sure! Could I have a chocolate milkshake?
  • Cash or kind for your Keno!
  • Guys, I don’t know what the fuck a “Snaketown Street” is and don’t give a shit: you can’t sell burritos in here.
  • Because it’s a casino.
  • It doesn’t matter how fatty they are.
  • Where’d all these balloons come from?
  • Bro, come with me and play blackjack: I can’t do math right now.
  • Somebody saw Billy at the Pai Gow tables berating a dealer.
  • Well, when you say “free drink,” you should specify that it does not include milkshakes.
  • Boss, we have unauthorized female nudity in the casino. Yes, sir: women are naked in Las Vegas and a man isn’t making money off of it; I’ll put a stop to it.
  • You dosed the pit bosses? I dosed the pit bosses. Jesus, how many people dosed the pit bosses? We should go check on them.
  • Okay, no milkshakes at all. Do you do smoothies?
  • Where did all these naked children come from?
  • MOOCHIE!
  • MOOCHIE!
  • Dude, have you seen my buddy? Moochie? Long hair?
  • MOOCHIE!
  • Why are you people grilling in here? Forget the fact that it’s a casino: we’re indoors, dammit.
  • Security, a bunch of these weirdos just took over the craps table and are using the dice to play Dungeons & Dragons.
  • Why would you think you could hula hoop in here?
  • Somebody saw Garcia at the video poker berating his dealer.
  • Hey, it’s Bill Walton!
  • Dude, c’mere and look at this carpet with me.
  • We need a security team and a doctor in the lounge: the hippies have drugged the house band and are forcing them to jam.
  • Mickey just tackled Wayne Newton.
  • Ma’am, you can just say “stick;” you don’t need to keep screaming “STICK-ICKY” every time you don’t want more any more cards.
  • Can you go down to Slots #12 and break up the game of tag that’s broken out, please?
  • Also break up the drum circle in Roulette #4.
  • And the food co-op in Craps #1.
  • I have no idea how they set up a food co-op so quickly, either, Jenkins; just go break it up.
  • No, don’t privatize it: break it up.
  • Hey, man: how long do I have to play to get a free room?
  • You’re at the penny slot machines, sir: literally a billion years.
  • Dude, do you split aces and eights or infinitives?
  • Huhuhuh. I get it, man. Good one.
  • Sir, there’s no taper’s section here: it’s a casino; we do the recording.
  • If you two don’t stop using your chips to play checkers, I’m going to ask you to leave the table.
  • MOOCHIE?
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