The Secret Of The Stochastic Ooze

by thoughtsonthedead

Electric Eyes Dead & Company2 Electric Eyes Dead & Company

A varsity jacket leads to thoughts about physics and gratitude.

Natural laws are not bound by theories of constructionism: anything that is not impossible is inevitable, even things that make no sense. To put it another way – that which physics does not deny will eventually happen.

Hence, stochastic ooze.

Elementary particles don’t move so much as blip between places, and the neat thing is that the distance between said places is not governed by your petty laws of geography. They blip and bleep all over the place all the time and there are so very many tiny particles; the odds of two of them blipping to the exact same place at the same time is high. Three is already astronomical, but these are just odds: there is no proscription against every particle in a person’s body disappearing in Burundi and reappearing in Switzerland.

It only happens once in a while, though: you’d need to take the lifespan of the universe and multiply it by a large number to get the time span necessary for something that unlikely to happen. You don’t have to worry, really.

But if you pay $300 for this, then I hope a starving child from a starving country blinks to existence and starves right in front of you.