Counterpoint With The King

by thoughtsonthedead

elvis ronnie tutt 1974 white suitTHE KING DONE DEMAND HIM SOME EQUAL TIME, YESSIR.

Oh, c’mon: not you. It’s getting off-puttingly weird in here.

THASS YOUR BUSINESS, NOT MINE. AH’M GONNA SET THE RECORD STRAIGHT ‘BOUT THAT ROY HEAD BIDNESS. AIN’T NONE OF IT TRUE.

I can totally see him biting you.

AW, NAW: HE CHOMPED ON ME LIKE AH WAS A DEEP-FRIED PORK CHOP WITH PEANUT BUTTER ON IT.

I can’t believe you died young.

BUT NONE OF THE REST OF IT IS TRUE, MAN. NOT A WORD. THE KING REACHED OUT HIS HAND TO ROY HEAD. AH INVITED HIM TO MY PENTHOUSE SUITE AND OFFERED HIM TRUE SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY, NOT THAT TEXAS BULLSHIT.

What’s Texas hospitality?

GIVIN’ YOU A HEADSTART ‘FORE THEY SHOOT YOU.

Ah.

DON’T INTERRUPT THE KING.

Sorry.

YOU ARE FORGIVEN. AS AH WAS SAYING, ROY HEAD WAS MAH GUEST: HE WAS OFFERED GIRLS IN ANY COLOR PANTIES HE COULD IMAGINE. DOCTOR NICK PRESCRIBED HIM THINGS, AND WE SHARED COGNAC AND DISCUSSED SEQUINS AND THE WUNNERFUL THINGS OUR FREAKY LEGS COULD DO.

That sounds nice.

WE PRACTICED KARATE FOR HOURS, AND AH DID NOT MURDER HIM, EVEN THOUGH AH COULD HAVE AT ANY TIME.

That’s really what the martial arts are about.

SEE, MAN: YOU GET IT. AH LIKE YOU. AH’M GONNA BUY YOU QUIZNO’S FRANCHISE.

No, thanks.

HAVE IT YOUR WAY. THE OFFER WILL NOT BE REPEATED.

You were telling a story?

NOT MUCH MORE TO IT. WENT TO DO MAH SHOW AND THE CRAZY BASTARD TRIED TO EAT ME. I TOLD SONNY AN’ RED TA BEAT HIM UP A LITTLE.

That’s kind of you to specify “a little.”

AH AM THE KING.

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