Possible Special Guests For Tonight’s Dead & Company Show
- The guy who played Eldon on the Cosby Show pretending to be Branford.
- Irving Azoff dancing around a tiny model of Stonehenge.
- Many obscure foreign drummers.
- Baby Levon.
- Amy Schumer. (She’s just so hot right now.)
- Dick Cheney.
- Dov Charney.
- Sue Simmons with a dozen beers and four hits of acid in her.
- Charles Lloyd on flute.
- Eight or nine Neville Brothers.
- Joan Baez. (NOOOOOOOOOOO.)
- Shmipple, the Salamander God of Bratislava.
- Abe Froman, the Sausage King of Chicago.
- Mrs. Donna Jean.
- Katy Perry singing Mrs. Donna Jean’s parts.
- Hologram Garcia*
- Glitchy, terrifying Hologram Billy. (“I paid some Chinese kid from Korea a hundred bucks to build it. It punches hologram dick!”)
- Mickey may or may not have bred and released crickets for the show.
- Right before the show, Willis Reed will enter the Garden dramatically.
*Do not make Hologram Garcia.