Possible Special Guests For Tonight’s Dead & Company Show

by thoughtsonthedead

  • Branford.
  • The guy who played Eldon on the Cosby Show pretending to be Branford.
  • Irving Azoff dancing around a tiny model of Stonehenge.
  • Many obscure foreign drummers.
  • Baby Levon.
  • Amy Schumer. (She’s just so hot right now.)
  • Dick Cheney.
  • Dov Charney.
  • Sue Simmons with a dozen beers and four hits of acid in her.
  • Charles Lloyd on flute.
  • Eight or nine Neville Brothers.
  • Joan Baez. (NOOOOOOOOOOO.)
  • Shmipple, the Salamander God of Bratislava.
  • Abe Froman, the Sausage King of Chicago.
  • TC
  • Mrs. Donna Jean.
  • Katy Perry singing Mrs. Donna Jean’s parts.
  • Hologram Garcia*
  • Glitchy, terrifying Hologram Billy. (“I paid some Chinese kid from Korea a hundred bucks to build it. It punches hologram dick!”)
  • Mickey may or may not have bred and released crickets for the show.
  • Right before the show, Willis Reed will enter the Garden dramatically.

*Do not make Hologram Garcia.