Underwritten

by thoughtsonthedead

Over at Dead.net, they’re offering the 2016 Dave’s Picks subscription and I endorse it heartily; I have not–it should be mentioned–been compensated for that opinion. Not out of morality: no one has offered me money. I would accept it, and then I would say all kinds of outlandish shit about the four-CD series: that it cured rabies or gave you boners or gave you rabies boners, which are boners that froth at the mouth, which now that I think about it are just regular boners.

It’s a good deal, as almost all of Rhino’s offerings are – hundred bucks for fours shows, plus a “highly collectible” bonus disc. How collectible? Highly. Highly collectible.

Plus–and it’s so awkward to bring this up–unless people buy the thing, I will be unable to illegally download the thing. Think of the parasites, people.

Besides the value of the package, or my selfish interests, there is the consistent and years-long excellence of the choices. Is there a bias towards the 70’s? Yes, of course, don’t be a fuckwit, it just sounded better. There have also been some forays into 1969 and 1980 and that was far enough, thank you.

Any Terrapins on this year’s Dave’ Picks will be sung be Garcia. None of this tag team bullshit.

Anyway, the first of next year’s Picks has probably been chosen, but the other three slots remain open, so–in the spirit of the Dead.net comment boards–TotD now presents A List of Demands for the Upcoming Dave’s Pick Series:

  • 6/25/84 Halfway through the first set, Garcia simply lays down onstage and curls into what can only be described as a “chubby beardball.” Great pre-Drum second set, but then Garcia appears sleepy again upon returning to the stage and to his beardball.
  • 1/9/79 On what should have been a night off in New York City, the Dead were kidnapped by Joe Garagiola and forced to play italian wedding songs all night. Long story. There were tapes made (Betty was also kidnapped by Joe Garagiola) and they should be released.
  • 5/7/87 Someone taught Billy and Mickey what “filibuster” meant and Drums lasted 32 hours.
  • 7/8/89 This JFK show in Philly went a bit wobbly when someone entered the General Admission section wearing a Dallas Cowboys hat and the entire stadium started a fight with the guy.
  • 1/9/78 With Garcia still mute with laryngitis, Phil said “How about I sing Eyes?” and everyone was like, “What?” and then John Mayer said “How about I sing Deal?” and everyone was like “This is 1978: you can’t be here.”
  • 3/4/92 The Hot Tub show. Nuff said.
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