No Witnesses

by thoughtsonthedead

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SHE IS MY EVERYTHING.

Y’know, this one’s weird even for this reality. Wait, hold on: didn’t she crash in the woods and kinda disintegrate?

YES. SADLY, TRAGICALLY, FORESEEABLY. YES.

So why is she floating up there now?

Goddammit, I’m gonna write that Time Sheath out of existence if everyone doesn’t stop using it for pranks and getting laid.

THIS WAS AN EMERGENCY. THIS IS NOT TAWDRY ESCAPADES IN THE BATHROOM AT FRONT STREET, NOR SWEATY FUMBLINGS IN MICKEY’S TIMPANI. THIS…

Love.

IS…

Love.

LOVE.

Right. So: when is this, where are you, and what’s the plan?

THIS IS ONE HOUR BEFORE MY BELOVED’S DEMISE. I AM JUST OUT OF CAMERA RANGE–

Of course.

–AND HIDING BEHIND A BUSH. THE PLAN IS TO ELUDE THE AUTHORITIES AND GET CLOSE ENOUGH TO CAPTURE MY SWEET BABOO IN GARCIA’S BRIEFCASE OF INFINITE FELONIES.

You brought that into this, too?

IT IS AN ALL-HANDS ON DECK SITUATION.

“Am I where you want me, Wally?”

YES. AND DO NOT CALL ME THAT.

Is that Precarious–

“Hey, buddy!”

–Lee. Goddammit, dammit, dammit. Stop inviting people in to the post for cameos. That’s my job.

I WORK FOR LOVE.

Fine.

What are we waiting for?

SHE HAS TO DRIFT THIS WAY. I BELIEVE THE WIND IS ABOUT TO CHANGE.

Okay.

ANY MOMENT NOW.

Dammit, man: go grab her if you want her.

HOW? I REQUIRE MANY MEN AND MACHINES TO BE MOVED. I CANNOT GALLOP THROUGH A FIELD. I AM A WALL.

Then how’d you get here?

DON’T WORRY ABOUT THAT.

Okay.

THE POINT IS: ALL IS LOST. LOVE WILL DIE AND HEARTS WILL ROT. THERE IS NOTHING BUT ROT, AND DECAY. THERE IS JUST WINTER EVERYWHERE, FOREVER.

Precarious?

“Yeah, boss?”

Go buggyjack the Amish kid and stuff the blimp in the magic sack, please.

“On it!”

THANK YOU. WHEN I AM WITH HER, IT IS I THAT TRULY FEELS LIGHTER THAN AIR.

Goddammit.

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