“Oh, no. I told you I don’t like being part of these things.”
Aw, but look: you’re right next to the President in my Instagram feed. That’s an honor.
A random honor.
“That’s not an honor, then.”
Your silver hair is so pretty.
“Can I go?”
Sure. But, Jeff Chimenti?
Careful in Upstate New York, okay?
Lumpy Mom loves you, Jeff Chimenti.
“Please leave me alone.”