A Tale Of Two Cakes

by thoughtsonthedead

bobby JM bday

With all the hubbub, and the bad news, and the Star Wars, TotD forgot about Bobby’s birthday, which is also Young John Mayer’s birthday, too.

The only way I’m okay with these cakes, and their respective sizes, is if Bobby’s cake is some vegan bullshit Bobby’s wife, Natasha Monster, bought for him; and John Mayer’s is, like, actual cake.

(Vegans are lovely people, mostly, and they actually practice that which I hypocritically preach, i.e. Don’t Bother Animals. Vegans are, however, far too loosey-goosey with their definitions for my taste. There’s no such thing as vegan cake. Cake contains milk, flour, eggs, and sugar. You can add other ingredients, but it has to have those four things or it’s not cake. You might have a cake-shaped lump of edible non-animal product, but it’s not a cake.)

I have to be honest–and you know I am Team Bobby–John Mayer’s cake looks delicious and I would eat it up, and if his candy fuckmobile was edible, I would eat that shit, too.

Thoughts on the Dead Off-Track Betting (TotDotB) has Mayer taking the stage in a bandana at 2 to 5 and is no longer accepting bets on that proposition.