Basement Full Of Dynamite

by thoughtsonthedead

bobby jpb donna MG
For tonight’s performance, the part of John Perry Barlow will be played by Rip Torn.

Also, make no mistake about it: these four collectively believe some crazy bullshit about medicine. Not a moral judgement: just saying that if you want an afternoon of fun, sit these four down and ask them how to stay healthy. I give it five minutes before they’re waving sage at you, talking about the “wisdom of the elders.” One of them would offer you a lozenge and you should not take it. While the lozenge might be a lozenge, it’s not made out of what you or I might consider proper lozenge. The lozenge is not lozenge, is what I’m trying to say.

John Perry Barlow may also do that Chinese thing with the cups and your back and sucking up chi or toxins or some fooey. He does not know what he is doing and you will get badly burned.

Speaking of John Perry Barlow: is he talking like a pirate? Looks like it, right? Ranting about doubloons and sexually-aggressive parrots:

“Yarrrr, then he tried t’give me a wingjob, he did! Yarrr.”

And Mountain Girl has heard all this bullshit for sixty years and is just, “Yeah, Barlow: you’re a pirate, you’re a cowboy, you’re just ferocious.”

Plus, if you ever met Mountain Girl, what would be awesome would be if you said, “Hello, Mrs. Girl,” and she said, “My mother was Mrs. Girl: call me Mountain.”

That would be sweet as fuck.

Hey Mrs. Donna Jean.

“Hey, darling.”

You look happy.

“I am! With my friends, my old friends. They are both old and old friends.”

Are you in a basement?

“It is.”

Isn’t everyone in that quartet rich except you?

“Kind of you to point that out.”

I mean, you couldn’t pony up for a garage? The backyard?

“Party happens where a party happens.”

Mrs. Donna Jean, you’re a Christian, right?

“I try to be.”

Jesus forgives everyone?

“When you meet Him, you will be forgiven.”

What about this week?

“Try not to be an asshole.”