Never Engage

by thoughtsonthedead

My love of the Dave’s (and Dick’s) Picks series is not hidden: they’re virtually flawless records of the Dead’s career, except for the ones that suck, and anyone wanting to get into the Dead could do well by simply listening to both series in order.

Others think that each new release from Rhino and the Vault is a war crime, and that everyone involved should be tried and then banished to the Phantom Zone in a spinning window pane special effect. Most of these folks live in the Dead.net comment boards and they save their ire for David Lemieux, who is far too professional, reasonable, and Canadian to respond to any of them.

I, on the other hand, am unprofessional, irrational, and American and therefore present Things David Lemieux Would Like To Say To The Dead.net Comment Board:

  • What?
  • No.
  • Really?
  • That show?
  • Why?
  • Because it sounds bad.
  • That’s nice it was your first show: there were three Brent tunes.
  • Oh, gosh, no: that show can’t be released.
  • Because Garcia audibly falls asleep during Ship of Fools.
  • Please don’t call me those kind of names.
  • Leave my mother out of it.
  • Leave Canada out of it.
  • The steel beams don’t have to melt, just weaken about 15 or 20%.
  • Are you suggesting that show as a joke?
  • No, you’re not being “lied to” about ’93.
  • Shove what where?
  • That’s not only rude, but impossible.
  • Yes, Jeffrey Norman does know what he’s doing.
  • No, Jeffrey Norman’s not “in on it” because there is no “it” to be in on.
  • None of us are Masons and I wish people would stop spreading that rumor.
  • Nor are we Shriners, although that organization does truly good work.
  • We refuse to negotiate with terrorists.
  • Also, you can’t hold people hostage via the comments board of a semi-defunct choogly-type band.
  • Why would we lie about which tapes we have in the Vault?
  • It’s not a state secret.
  • Maybe.
  • No.
  • Never.
  • Double never.
  • A ’73 horn show will be released over my dead body.
  • Do you honestly thing that there’s some sort of trove of ’66 and ’67 tapes we’re hiding?
  • For reasons?
  • Complete, multi-tracked tapes of acid-drenched and muscular late ’67 shows, just as they were turning from a shitty surf band into the Grateful fucking Dead, maaaaaaan?
  • And we haven’t released them?
  • Because of–again–reasons?
  • I first learned the love of wine at the knee of my grandfather, Mario Lemieux; thank you for asking.
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