The Ruination Of Swaggie Maggie By The Lothario Bobert Weir
by thoughtsonthedead
…
“Um.”
…
“You okay there, fella? Need some green tea?”
PEOPLE AREN’T SUPPOSED TO BE ABLE TO LOOK THIS GOOD AND DO STUFF.
“We’re discussing my handsomeness?”
Yes. It’s supposed to render a human completely useless, this level of handsomitude.
“Well, that just wasn’t where my bliss lived, y’know?”
You’re starting with the bliss already? It’s ’72.
“You kidding me? Bliss was my second word.”
What was the first?
“Doggy.”
I can see that, sure.
…
Your hair just did that on its own, too, didn’t it?
“Woke up like this.”
I h o p e y o u r a i r c o n d i t i o n e r b r e a k s t o d a y
These pants must have been specifically tailored to feature: BALLS!!
It’s like a fanny pack for testicles.
Honestly though. Who in their right mind would wear these? Not to mention take a picture like this????
TotD, take notice; PC called it “a fanny pack for testicles.” Because testicles are outside of the body, and are therefore able to be put into a fanny pack. LÄMĘ-Ø
I can put my hand in a fanny pack, and my hand is inside my body, spaz.
WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN
NO UR HAND IS OUTSIDE UR BODY IT’S NOT INSIDE OF U IT’S DEXTROUS AND INJURE-ABLE UNLIKE, SAY, UR KIDNEYS, WHICH ARE INSIDE OF U
U CAN TOTALLY INJURE UR KIDNEYS
okay, yes, you can, but I cannot walk up to you and grab your kidneys and squeeze/punch/kick them to the point of injury, because they’re INSIDE of you. I could, however, grab your hand, (OR YOUR WEAK ASS TESTICLES, FOR THIS MATTER) and injure it somehow (though I probably wouldn’t be able to hurt your extremities with my bare hands).
leave me alone i am working on jokes and powerful truths
thats something someone who knew they were wrong and had no good comebacks would say
because u know u r wrong
“They [balls] are located within the [coin purse], which… hangs outside the body behind the [wang].”
the real words were too gross for me but yeah this was from a MEDICAL WEBSITE IM NOT OVER THIS BC I KNOW IM RIGHT
I think the balls “outside vs. inside” debate will be difficult to resolve between a guy and gal, since it’s only natural for we guys to see the balls as central to our bodies proper – after all, that region is our primary cognitive structure.
And pretty sure Bobby is coaxing whatever female is on the room during that photo session to come on over and have a seat on his lap…
I actually looked like this at the Phish concert when Trey and Mike were doing the gay guitar senpai thing it was like I was a tween girl at a 1D concert or something lol
also if I ever saw Bobby in real life someone would have to physically restrain me from grabbing him and just never letting go idc that he’s an old ass man im going for him
Who said Bobby’s an ass man? Maybe he’s a breasts guy?
Oh, old-ass man.
i just spit out my grapes
Also I don’t understand how a guy can be one or the other.
https://camo.githubusercontent.com/46a8a1d33849a05d9517564b8a21fe72970f103c/68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f72617067656e6975732f313336333132363435325f7461636f2d6769726c2d6d656d652d67656e657261746f722d7768792d6e6f742d626f74682d3665633030622e6a7067
Wait, hold on. This changes everything. It CAN be both, can’t it?
EXACTLY. You can like both! I like both and I’m a girl. Who doesn’t like them??????
(Don’t forget, though, to look away if they’re anywhere near my age.)
You touch my dad, and Chloe gonna kick your ass.
HAHAHAHAHAHAH
*sweats nervously*
yes this is me don’t I look great in this gif
I dunno, your color’s not so great…
YES THANK YOU SPENCER YOU GET ME
what year did bobbie get kicked out of boarding school? this must have been right after. and look at poor maggie!